I Miss My Best Friend

I miss my best friend.  That's pretty much where I am at the moment.  I am not letting myself think much about what is going to happen to US when the dust settles.  It is a promise I made him and I am doing everything I can to keep that promise.  Right now, I just really miss him as my friend.

My whole has been so flipped upside down in the last year.  There are 3 people who I give credit to keeping me sane.  A long time friend (HF), Pocket Secrets, and PC.  HF only knows bits and pieces of what's going on right now.  Pocket Secrets is on the other side of the country.  PC is my day in and day out steady rock to cling to.

So many days I was sure I would not make it through and he gently and lovingly coaxed me out of that dark place.  He has believed things for me that I could not at the time believe for myself.  I have depended so heavily on him.  And now he is completely inaccessible to me.

I know it is selfish of me.  My poor sweet baby is very sick AND dealing with hell at home.  And I'm whining because I need him for me. 

It rips at my very soul that I can do nothing for him.  And I need him.  I feel lost without him.

There is nothing I would love more right now than to be sitting with him on the dock watching the sailboats come in and out of the harbor....holding hands, laughing, and solving all the world's problems.

I just miss him.  A lot.

xxx
DD