Monday, March 15, 2010

Plans

We had plans for one night this week. He was going to cook for me. We were going sit outside and look at the stars. He was going to let me kneel next to him. I was going to be collared. We were going to make love.

Instead I am sitting home alone. I am aching for him. I am lonely. I am hurting. I am sad.

xxx,
DD
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5 comments:

  1. FreddyMarch 17, 2010 at 11:05 AM

    Oh sweetie xxx

    Strength! No sad songs, no 'what might have beens', no wallowing, no regrets

    Strength in memories, and strength in knowing that this time will pass.

    ReplyDelete
  2. FreddyMarch 17, 2010 at 11:05 AM

    and yes, I believe I am who you think I am :-) xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnbrokenMarch 21, 2010 at 9:09 PM

    I saw these posts last weekend and didn't have time to comment. I was hoping for something happier by now...so I'll send good thoughts your way and hope for better news soon!

    ReplyDelete
  4. k bareMarch 22, 2010 at 9:55 PM

    pardon my language but....

    fuck silence.
    if you have feeling in your heart
    show them.
    whisper them
    scream them.

    ......But if my silence made you leave
    Then that would be my worst mistake......

    i'm sorry, i know you feel you should be silent for him.
    but i can't help it
    but think....go ahead, honey
    love him out loud.

    once you've come this far in - i don't think the leaving of one - but not for the other is ever really 100 percent.
    it doesn't mean we don't try to make the right decision...
    i just
    ugh.
    maybe its just me having a bad day.
    hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  5. DDMarch 23, 2010 at 11:54 AM

    thank you, happy. it makes me feel better just knowing you are around again. :)

    unbroken, you are right - i should update - and i will later today.

    k bare, i dont want to be silent. but fear keeps me silent. you are always far more right than i wish you were though.

    ReplyDelete

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